Monday, August 6, 2012

Year 2 Photo Dump & Memories

2 years. Memories and thoughts for today 

Do not stand
Last year. August 6, 2011.

At my grave and weep
I am not there,
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand 
Winds that blow.
I am the diamond 
Glints in the snow.
I am the sunlight 
On the ripen grain.
I am the gentle 
Autumns rain.
When you awaken 
In the morning hush, 
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in 
Circled flight.
I am the soft stars 
That shine at night.
Do not stand
At my grave and cry.
I am not there;
I did not die
-Hopi Prayer
"I wasn't ready to say goodbye"

I spent the weekend reconnecting with nature. Swimming in the river, floating rapids, hiking in the moonlight. It helped to ease the pain and stress and anxiety of knowing that this day was coming. Then last night - reality hit. And the months of peace and security and closure go out the window for the why? and the how come? and it isn't fair! But such is life.  If Mike wasn't so special, and such an influence in my life, it wouldn't hurt so badly.

Also, I've heard of people requesting random acts of kindness on their loved one's day of passing. In honor of Mikey, I have requested random acts of mischief. He would be pleased.

4 Years Ago Today

August 6, 2008 - James Taylor Concert
This was part of our rehearsal dinner before we got married.
This right here, this moment in time - it might be one of the best of my life.

2 Years ago Today

Last Year:

Some of the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen.
I asked friends to bring flowers from their (or someone else's) garden.
The red gerber daisies are from me. They were our flower.

(from my balloon)
I love you and miss you every day of my life
our time together was beautiful and i will remember you always.
your life here on earth was too short, but you changed mine for the better.
for always
i love you and forgive you
all my love,

TODAY: August 6, 2012 - 2 years out

Tonight there I will hold a small memorial at Mike's grave to say hi, leave some flowers and share some memories. The thing I'm most excited for......a lady bug release! 

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-And neither the angels in heaven above,Nor the demons down under the sea,Can ever dissever my soul from the soulOf the beautiful Annabel Lee.For the moon never beams without bringing me dreamsOf the beautiful Annabel Lee;And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyesOf the beautiful Annabel Lee;And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the sideOf my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,In the sepulchre there by the sea,In her tomb by the sounding sea.Edgar Allan Poe

I feel like sometimes we know the widow and their grief so much more than we know why they are grieving. For those who would like to remember Mike, or who would like to get to know him more. Here's some pictures over time. 


Volunteering at the Humane Society
Lazer Tag with my little bro Alex

My Under-Grad Graduation '07

Our first long trip together - Oregon Coast '07
At the end of our long trip - Half Moon Bay, CA '07
The day we picked up the engagement ring from being sized!  October '07


Christmas 2008 - Right before we left on Honeymoon

Christmas 2009 - Kittens had their own stockings
Dash: Opening his presents
Christmas 2010
Christmas 2011 Our house was full of friends for a wonderful Christmas after-party. Everyone brought treats and shared drinks and stories and had a wonderful time making new traditions and memories.

Valentines Days
Valentines Day 2010
Valentines Day 2011

Here's something happy to end on. These are things that I try to bring into my "new life", I hope you can find something to brighten your day:

And a little more happiness - or strength, courage and wisdom rather

Your Response:

Will you leave me your random act of mischief or kindness for the day as well as a favorite Mikey memory. 

Just ....
Love and Light, 


greggieswidow said...

I love you so much Jess. I love seeing all these photos of you and Mikey and learning more about him and the love you two share.
I love the photos but especially the silly ones! The one with the crown and the kitty on his hat!

I am so proud of you for your grief journey. i love that you are continuing to create new memories while also remembering the good ones and finding ways to allow the two to intersect.

Lots of love, hugs and prayers always. B

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