How are you doing on your journey?

Check in for the 30 day challenge

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I wanted to check in and share a success story of the 30 day challenge as motivation for those of you who might be struggling (like me admittedly).

About a week ago I put out the challenge to anyone that was willing to accept it to make a small but sustainable change (you can see the original post here). I was inspired by a TED talk that I'd listened to and all of the happy women returning from Camp Widow speaking about their affirmations.

I have continued to be inspired as people have shared with me what they are challenging themselves to do and as I've heard their check ins along the way.

Here's one of my favorites from a beautiful soul Claire:
Day 1: she challenged herself to walk 15 min a day.
Evening of Day 1: I receive this message from Claire:
"So I had to work late tonight, then I stopped at my parents' house for dinner. Got home after 9 and there was a cocktail made and waiting for me. The perfect storm of excuses to not start today. I know that there will be days in the future where it will be easy to make excuses and I will try. That is why I STARTED TONIGHT! If my first day was a day full of potential excuses, then I can overcome any other ones in the next 30 days and after that. So proud of myself for starting tonight and looking forward to the next 29 days! Tomorrow, I just have to remember to wear bugspray for my walk ;) Thank you for all of your encouragement and inspiration ♥"

I am so amazed by Claire!

She DID have the perfect storm of situations to not start her challenge. I might have had the cocktail first, then thought about walking after ;)  But she knew the importance of making a commitment.

Listen to how she rocks it on Day 6:
The walking challenge is phenomenal! My times get better every day. It is becoming routine so no matter what, I walk. No excuses. I am so thrilled to be doing this and I am so grateful to you for posting the challenge. And it's only day 6 :D"

 'Make a commitment and the forces of the universe will conspire to make it happen' Goethe

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Way to go!

Here is a list of the challenges that I've heard so far. Its not too late to pick one and start. 

• Work out 30 min a day
• Make the bed daily & say personal affirmation with intention while making the bed
• Write for 15 min a day
• Exercise 2x a week + increased activity daily
• Personal affirmation in the morning and evening, and whenever reminded during the day (layered with personal compliments - 1 a day)
• Resorative yoga daily
• Take a photo a day
• Pushups daily

I personally am writing one true thing a day in a google doc. I don't know where it will go. But isn't that the adventure!

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." — Henry David Thoreau

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How are you doing? How successful have you been? Share your success and struggles. 

With love and light, 

Jess

I was reading an inspiring book today about creating a world beyond poverty called The Blue Sweater. I was highlighting quote after quote on my kindle.
The words on the page were speaking to me:
not only giving respect but insisting on respect, 
how much crueler the poverty of a broken spirit can be than the poverty of income alone,
listening as the key to leadership, 
action over talk as the catalyst of change. 

Then as I read I came to a line where I *gently* tossed the kindle aside and went running for the laptop because today's blog post had made itself known:
"My first-grade nun had instructed me that from those to whom much is given, much is expected. I was learning that this lesson had to be combined with Shakespeare's wisdom that one must 'to thine own self be true.' "

To thine own self be true.

That is the difference between the Jessica that stands and writes and bears her soul in front of you today and the Jessica of years and situations past.

I used to be too afraid to write, even a month ago - I couldn't comprehend who would care what I'm saying, and who would read. The fear of rejection was terrifying, so was the fear of success.

Who am I to write? Who am I to ask people to read what I write?

Then I realized....it didn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

If nobody reads this blog, it doesn't matter.

If someone dislikes this blog - still doesn't matter.

Will I embarrass my family, myself....doesn't matter.

I learned something from a dear widow friend of mine almost 2 years ago - Don't go along with something if it is not being true to yourself. You can only grieve, recover, flourish and thrive if you are true to yourself first. This was again reaffirmed a year ago when I met another radiant widow who again had vibrancy, purity and a spirit that was unmistakable. I asked her about her secret, for a second time I heard...following/finding your own north star.

The best part of being true to yourself is that you have nothing to apologize for.

Since I started on the journey of living for myself
I have never cried so purely,
I have never laughed so freely,
I have never loved so deeply,
I have never swam so naked,
I have never danced so confidently
as I do now that the only thing that matters is that I am being true to myself.

I have built a fence,
traveled internationally,
studied yoga,
gained control over my food allergies,
buried a husband - but remained open enough to love again,
counseled friends,
attended a music festival with 80,000 other people,
cried in public,
sold my house,
Most importantly I have released old dreams so that new ones could take seed.

It doesn't bother me if someone doesn't like that I am writing, or what I am writing. Because I don't write for them (obviously!) If what I write doesn't speak to their soul as something they need to hear, so what? That fact does not negate the fact that it may speak to another person's soul.

In the past 2 weeks I have seen that I can instil confidence, inspire self-reflection, encourage peace. Just by being willing to find myself in the open.*Who would have thought?*

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.
Source: A Return to Love-Marianne Williamson, 
as quoted by Nelson Mandela in his inaugural speech (1994)

My purpose in writing this blog is not to be pigeonholed into any category (widow, activist, yogi), or to break any stereotype (that of the young widow, that of the bleeding heart, or the granola hippie).  Instead, it is to be true to myself. To honestly convey the feelings and motivations and inspirations that drive my day.
Hopefully to inspire and encourage even one more person to do the same.
I used to shy away and hide myself - for fear of being judged, for fear of not being good enough.
I will fear these things no more as long as I am true.

THIS WILL BE MY 30 DAY CHALLENGE:

To write down something every day that is TRUE.
True to myself.
It might be funny, it might be insightful, it might be tough to say...but it will all be true.